I told myself I’d write a blog post. Didn’t have to be a long one, I told myself. I said, “Self, you should write a blog post.”
See, I’ve got this mirror. I’m really happy with it. At my old apartment, I didn’t have a mirror as big as this one. In fact, at the old apartment, the only mirror I had was the one in the bathroom, which meant that when I looked in it, I could only see face, neck, half my shoulders, and part of chest. I had to basically assume that I everything else was fine. I had no damn idea how wrinkled my pants were until we switched apartments. I’m not kidding about this.
Now, I’ve got this mirror, and, let’s be real here, it’s a little too big. So I decided to make good use of it. With 2013 almost 1/12th over, Idecided to write weekly goals for myself. I thought that would be a great idea. It’ll keep me on track, I’ll erase it every week and write new ones.
Problem has become that my goals have become an albatross of sorts. Take, for example, this blog post. I wrote on the mirror “Blog Post — Monday.” Didn’t happen. So I forgave myself a bit and erased “Monday” and wrote “Wednesday.” Still didn’t happen. This morning, I erased it again and wrote “Thursday.” Now, I’m about to head to bed, thinking to myself, “Hey, that blog post never happened did it?” And then thinking that, yeah, but really, it didn’t happen because I didn’t have a proper idea. Because blog posts should have some thought behind them, right? You can’t just, like, open up our laptop, log on to the site and start typing about mirrors or whatever, right?
In my last post, also written haphazardly, I laid out my goals for this year. Honestly, so far, I’ve been doing pretty good. I’d give myself probably a B-minus/B for the month of January (so far). But goals are double-sided because you set them for a reason: to push yourself to achieve them. But then you start to question how valid they are and you start to wonder about what it means to have “reasonable goals” and what your own limitations are. And then you (meaning I because you might not have a mirror at all… you might be a vampire and have no need for them) have to face facts and realize that life tends to get in the way of all other plans and when that happens I have to face myself and wonder about what I can reasonably do, because maybe I can’t do it all.
I have to look myself in the eye, ponder, and assess. And I’ll need to use a… reflective surface of some kind.